that's amore

"Ugh, I hate that... when you're cooking pasta and someone interrupts you, and then you come back and it's just TOTALLY overdone.

Salad is the enemy

"I just don't think I was ready for crappy iceberg lettuce."

"Don't put this on your blog."

"I can't be sure, but I think this beef is barely even carpaccio grade."

spread it on your bread?

"I hate fruit pies. They're just a bunch of jam. Who the fuck wants that?"