Hygiene is important.

"I like to use a back scrubber and exfoliating body wash."

suits suits suits

"That suit has to be polyester blend. I mean, how else do you make a suit for $100?"

Salad is the enemy

"I just don't think I was ready for crappy iceberg lettuce."

over confident much?

"My time at Stanford and Harvard has taught me - I'm really good at taking stupid people's money. But I'm really good at taking smart people's money."

Sandwich snobbery

"She made it wrong. The cheese isn't even melted. Who the fuck puts the cheese in the middle?"

The anti-indie

"Sneakers with a suit? That's totally unconscionable."

"Don't put this on your blog."

"I can't be sure, but I think this beef is barely even carpaccio grade."